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37,243 articles in Canadian, eh?
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Today's featured article
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Today's featured article – Rastadon
The Rastadon (Mamut rastadonis) is a mammalian species often confused with the more common Mastodon. The Rastadon was more intelligent, had a more complex social structure, and showed many other attributes usually associated with humanity, such as their own religion and communual smoking. The species now has only one living member and will go extinct when he rolls up his last reefer.
The Rastadon was discovered on February 3, 2007, by one Dr. Professor Ima Walrus, who got his Ph.D. in Zoology at Gotham University, as well as Tom Freebird, who had a B.A. in Sociology, and a minor in Taylor Swift, from Michigan Tech. Their historic discovery was found fifty miles north of Rastos, Nebraska. To date, only one skeleton of a Rastadon has ever been found, where it is currently still in active use. After many tests, Dr. Professor Walrus and Mr. Freebird found that the Rastadon's turn-offs included tobacco cigarettes, uniforms, sirens, and corporate life. Whereas its turn-ons included: pistachio ice cream, herbal medicine, large hollow plastic figurines with pipes sticking out of them, and snack foods. (more...)
The Addams Family is an American family best-known for producing an excessive number of U.S. Presidents. The Roosevelts are in a tie, but not in such short order; so too would be the Clintons, except for certain "deplorable" voters. The Kennedys showed comparable potential, except that various assassins showed more. (more...)
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Did you know...
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*... that while laughter is the best medicine, many cancer patients prefer chemotherapy?
- ... that the rumors that you are paranoid were started by someone who's out to get you?
- ... that while laughter is the best medicine, many cancer patients prefer chemotherapy?
- ... that the rumors that you are paranoid were started by someone who's out to get you?
- ... that while laughter is the best medicine, many cancer patients prefer chemotherapy?
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In the news
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On this day...
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May 17: Day of the Exhausted Dog (Mongolia only)
- 0 - First Ninja Pirate born. He is easily confused with Jesus and ends up killing said Jesus and takes his place. He is worshipped in Christianity.
- 616 - Pope Eggs Benedict IV declares that Spain does not exist.
- 927 - The fucking Vikings do something really nasty, they create Norway.
- 1805 - Muhammed Ali becomes Waali of Egypt after knocking out rival Charlotte Brontë in the 8th round.
- 1849 - Millard Fillmore wins the Kentucky Derby with jockey Franklin Pierce in the irons.
- 1865 - Abraham Lincoln turns down tickets to the Ice Capades in order to see a play.
- 1975 - The year 1975 is misplaced in history.
- 1914 - Stand-up British gents die jolly-good deaths in World War I.
- 1927 - Everybody gets depressed, repressed or undressed.
- 1930 - First person ever born on this date is born on this date.
- 1935 - Prozac is invented, entering the market under the auspicious title World War II.
- 1982 - Pope John Paul II readmits Spain to existence, apologizes for his forepope's bigotry. The Anti-Pope George Ringo is not amused.
- 1986 - Ronald Reagan weeps publicly, after being called a 'nosey meddler' by Nicaraguans. Sandinistas lead GLOBAL COMMUNIST REVOLUTION resulting with complete annihilation of life. God reported to be 'alcoholic and whore-mongering'.
- 1993 - First use of the word LOL in recorded history.
- 2008 - With all the success of his book, James Madison takes a relaxing vacation in Purgatory, where there was much rejoicing!
- 2012 - The word LOL is finally added to the Oxford Dictionary, despite numerous protests from people such as Stephen Fry.
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Prime Minister and Canuck of the Month
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Bacon Bacon Bacon Bacon Bacon Bacon Bacon Bacon Bacon Bacon Bacon, Bacon Bacon Bacon Bacon Bacon Bacon Bacon Bacon Bacon Bacon Bacon Bacon Bacon Bacon Bacon Bacon, Bacon Bacon Bacon Bacon Bacon Bacon Bacon Bacon Bacon Bacon, Bacon Bacon Bacon Bacon Bacon Bacon Bacon Bacon Bacon Bacon Bacon Bacon Bacon Bacon Bacon Bacon Bacon Bacon Bacon Bacon Bacon Bacon Bacon Bacon Bacon Bacon.
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Polar Bear. Moose. Polar Bear. Moose. Polar Bear. Moose. Polar Bear. Moose. Polar Bear. Moose. Polar Bear. Moose. Polar Bear. Moose. Polar Bear. Moose. Polar Bear. Moose. Polar Bear. Moose. Polar Bear. Moose. Polar Bear. Moose. Polar Bear. Moose. Polar Bear. Moose. Polar Bear. Moose. Polar Bear. Moose. Polar Bear. Moose. Polar Bear. Moose. Polar Bear. Moose. Polar Bear. Moose. Polar Bear. Moose. Polar Bear. Moose. Polar Bear.
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Vote for Prime Minister of the Month | Vote for Canuck of the Month | Vote for Moose of the Month | Past Winners: 2005/2006
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